Sunday, March 6, 2011

             WHY CAN’T I ……….?

        
          It has been so long since I posted my last blog. For the past few days I feel a bit desperate to write something new, for I have found it to be such a pleasant exercise for the mind as well as for the heart! However, I am unable to figure out what exactly I can write in order that I can convey something meaningful. Keeping wondering for days, I have finally decided to say something which may not be very meaningful to you, but to me, it means a lot!
         
          There are times which remind me of my drawbacks and inabilities. I like to observe people around me and appreciate their qualities and talents. But then what happens is that I tend to think like “A can do X, but I cannot”, “B can do Y, but I cannot”, “C can do Z, but I cannot”, “D can do X, Y, Z – all with equal ease while I cannot do a single of them”, and get depressed. It seems as if I want to be expert at everything. I want to be a devoted researcher, a thoughtful writer, a passionate singer, a spectacular dancer, a famous actor, a smart communicator and a popular entertainer at the same time! Well, for me, the natural intellect, or the so-called ‘common sense’ ceases to work for the time being and the frustration deepens. Then, in order to come out of it, I ask myself why I cannot do so many things. I seek a convincing and logical answer to this question.
                   
          Very recently an interesting idea came to my mind. Make a list of ten things you cannot do. Now go back to the first one and ask yourself ‘why’ and try to answer as honestly as possible. Repeat this for the remaining nine. You will find that your inability is because either you do not want it, or even if you want it, your desire is not sincere and so you do not put the necessary effort. When you want something whole-heartedly, you do progress in it, and the progress continues as long as the whole-heartedness survives. Quite often we start a job with great enthusiasm but leave it in the midway; whatever the reason(s) may be and ultimately we cannot achieve anything. So think beforehand what you want and always want it, even after achieving, for you can always do better and better. However, keep in mind your limitations and constraints and set the goals accordingly so as not to end up as a loser at the end of the day.
                   
          Well, everything is fine, but I wonder why other people hardly seem to be bothered about what they cannot do. I do not know the true picture, but apparently most people are contented with what all they can do and live a happy life. Where does the motivation come from? In this context, I recall one of my teachers once saying, “Suppose that you have six colors while your friend has twenty-four and both of you are painting. Never think that your painting is going to be inferior to his as you have no more than six colors. Instead, convince yourself that using only those six colors you can paint much better than him.” In a broader sense, this holds for life as well. Not everything is for everyone; you will definitely be weaker in a job compared to somebody else, and you may not be multi-talented; but you can still live a life full of joy and glory if you can see a bottle to be half-filled rather than half-empty.

9 comments:

  1. I thought I was going to disagree with you fully ... until I read the last paragraph!! But on the whole I found this blog contradictory at some places. You "wonder why other people hardly seem to be bothered about what they cannot do". The answer is in the last part of the paragraph itself. I don't think "most people are contented with what all they can do", but they want to excel at what they are good at. Team India don't select a team with 5 bowlers because they are weak in bowling, instead they back their batting to win the matches. I fully agree with you that on most occasion we can overcome our inability by giving a sincere effort. But can we overcome our inability of lacking 'common sense' in this way ?

    By the way its very nice to know that you feel desperate to write something new. I firmly believe there are hardly any better things to spend our time on, than reading a book. Writing a book being one of those very few exceptions.

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  2. @MONU:
    In the last paragraph, I did not want to make any contradictory statements. I first pointed out what my observations told me and then tried to justify it.
    Moreover, by 'contended', I actually meant that their inabilities do not worry them that much.
    Regarding common sense, I somewhere read, "Common sense is not so common". It comes gradually with age and experience. I do not regard it as an inability. It is rather a caliber if you can apply it properly.
    Anyway, thanks a lot for your comment.

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  3. At times I too feel the same way as you described, getting frustrated with my inabilities when I see people displaying them with ease. I am also intrigued (even at times jealous) at how people can be so confident despite their obvious inabilities and lead a life full of vigour and pride. I agree at times, we must play to our strengths but the fear is sometimes we may brand something as "I am not cut out for it" whereas in reality it was just an excuse not to put wholesome effort into it. At times the line between getting frustrated at not being good at something and persisting with it in the fear of giving up early becomes thin.

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  4. Just accept your shortcomings and try to make full use of your talents. It can become difficult to see people excel in more ways than you, but always remember that there are people out there who also feel the same way about you because of your talents. So, just stop being hard on yourself. There are people who envy you too! :)

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  5. I beg to differ you at only one point. Other people also try to overcome their shortcomings.I don't mind having 6 colors but what if I can get 24 colors only with a little try?Won't you give it a try? Are not you missing by an inch?I think in our life what we always do is optimization ,we weigh how much it will take ourselves to get the rest 18? Is it worth it ? And this parameter is different for everyone.Any way nice post. Looking forward for more

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  6. Interesting Idea.Even I feel inferior to people with superior skills, but I never let it become a reason for tossing my life upside down. It's alright if others are better than us, but nobody said that we can't rise up to their level. A prevalent notion in our society is to accept our weaknesses and carry on with our strengths. While it does help in pacifying our mind - but I feel that real satisfaction will come only when you overcome the hurdles in your life instead of going around them.
    Nicely written, Keep it up...( I know the amount of effort required to convert abstract ideas to a written article ...haven't been able to write a single blog entry for more than a month now :P )

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  7. @Dipanjan...don't think that he can do it easily but I can not, better think that u r a person who is very much able to appreciate it...if u don't have the capability of appreciating others talent, then u should not practice it. I think first we should learn to appreciate then we can think of investing some time to practice it.So cool,try to appreciate things first.......

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  8. Once upon a time I too used to have an inferiority complex whenever I found peers with a superior skill around me and I got bogged down because of my inabilities in some fields! But, I think the key to success in life is to accept your shortcomings, find the fields at which you are a stalwart, then set your goals and act accordingly. Still, I think one should constantly strive throughout his life to raise his performance-benchmark. Because, it indeed feels good to prove your worth at something where people consider you as a feeble one! Anyway, very well written... Best of luck... keep it up...

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  9. u always have deeper insight into everything that mostof us do not! u have no idea how brillian are d 6 colours u have got instead of the 24 of others. Dont worry about the shortcomings, just go wid d flow, nd ur painting will come out really awesome! dont worry about what u cant do.u can always do whatever u really want to :)

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